Me: Waited eight hours to get vaccinated.
Tech Billionaire: Waited eight hours to delete my tweets about AstraZeneca, because apparently I’m not the one who decides which vaccines get approved? Seems unfair.
Me: Didn’t see my friends for seven months because of the lockdown.
Tech Billionaire: Didn’t see my friends for seven months because I don’t have any friends.
Me: Felt bad when I broke the rules and got within six feet of my friends.
Tech Billionaire: Felt bad when another tech C.E.O. got within two billion dollars of my net worth.
Me: Haven’t gone for a haircut because the salons were closed.
Tech Billionaire: Haven’t gone for a haircut because I don’t have very much hair.
Me: Lockdown in my studio apartment.
Tech Billionaire: Locked Trump out of my service, after he violated our policies for the nine-millionth time.
Me: Let my sink leak because I didn’t know how to fix it.
Tech Billionaire: Let my user data leak because I was too busy waxing my mustache to fix it.
Me: After months of just scrolling on my phone, decided to read a book.
Tech Billionaire: After months of insuring that people did nothing but scroll on their phones, decided to write a book about myself.